A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a Blonde in Economy Class gets up & moves to the First Class section and sits down
The Flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket.
She then tells the Blonde passenger that she will have to return to her Economy seat.
The Blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!'
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class who belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat. The co- pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy, she is only entitled to an Economy seat and she will have to return to her original seat.
The Blonde replies, 'I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Melbourne and I'm staying right here!'
Exasperated the co-pilot tells the pilot that it was no use and that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest the Blonde who won't listen to reason.
'You say she's blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, and I speak blonde!'
The pilot goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says,
'Oh I'm sorry - I had no idea', gets up and moves back to her seat in Economy.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.
The pilot replied,
'I told her First Class isn't going to Melbourne '.
The Health Department has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of a highly infectious disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'em," and it is a terrible risk to us all.
The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum.
Many victims contracted it when they elected the Rudd Labor Government .
Thankfully now most people, after having been infected for the past 3 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness can be, particularly the latest strain to emerge: the Gillard Labor Government. It's sad because "Gonna re-elect 'em," is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called Votemout.
It's pronounced "Votem out," You take Votemout as soon as it becomes available (probably late August) and simply don't engage in such risky behavior again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out life as we know it.
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses 'Was I going up the stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.'
Joan was running up and down the halls of the nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to Rich in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, 'Supersex.' He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your bible a little, and get your hair cut.Then we'll talk about the car.
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.
The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair ... and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.
(You are going to love the Dad's reply)
His father replied, 'Did you also notice that they walked everywhere they went?'
You cannot post new topics in this site You cannot reply to topics in this site You cannot delete your posts in this site You cannot edit your posts in this site You cannot create polls in this site You cannot vote in polls in this site
![]](/skins/default/forum_images/top-left.gif)
![]](/skins/default/forum_images/spacer.gif){kind=spacer}
![]](/skins/default/forum_images/top-right.gif)
![]](/skins/default/forum_images/left-side-table-bg.gif)
![]](/skins/default/forum_images/right-side-table-bg.gif)
![]](/skins/default/forum_images/bottom-left.gif)
![]](/skins/default/forum_images/hide_min.gif)
![]](/skins/default/forum_images/hide_off.gif)